Author(s): Chuck Klosterman

Gift

You are in an unfortunate situation in which you are forced to consider cannibalism in order to stay alive. WOULD YOU RATHER EAT BABIES OR ELDERLY PEOPLE?

You are offered a Brain Pill that will make you feel 10 percent more intelligent, but you will seem 20 percent less intelligent to everyone else. DO YOU TAKE THE PILL?

SUPPOSE YOU WAKE UP INHABITING BRUCE SPRINGSTEIN'S BODY. Your voice sounds just like Bruce's, but your musical ability is still entirely your own. You are scheduled to perform in a huge concert that night. WHAT DO YOU DO?

How would your mother answer these questions? Your best friend? Your significant other? PREPARE YOURSELF FOR SOME INSANE CONVERSATIONS.